Anthology revisions, part 2

On to the hard part.

Here’s part 2 of the revisions I made to my Kids Comics Unite anthology story. (For part 1, click here.)

With the straightforward comments out of the way, I took on the notes for this panel:

Page 5, panel 4

This is the last part of Brother Paro’s flashback, where he learns how to summon the Quha (energy of life) through acts of kindness and caring, instead of fighting and trying to dominate others. The editors suggested that:

• [T]his section could be strengthened by showing how Brother Paro was "being kind to others"…. Rather than showing only his mastery of the magic, it could be moments of helping, saving, or showing kindness towards others and then have the last pose with him having mastered the magic[.]

In other words, it would be better to show the learning process that Brother Paro went through and not simply the outcome.

I started sketching ideas of Paro using his energy in helpful and caring ways:

(Left) Sketches of Paro performing acts of kindness. (Right) Composite sketches combining ideas into a single panel.

I took the composite sketch I liked best and refined it with input from my critique partners.

(Top to bottom) 1st rough, 2nd rough, pencil, and ink versions of this panel.

Here’s the final version, incorporated into page 5:

This panel took up most of the time I spent on revisions (starting late October through the end of November). Like Paro says, it was worth it in the end!

I had over a month until the next deadline - to submit the revised story - and used the time to ink the rest of the pages. Here’s what I submitted:

The complete story in inks (and, in the case of page 1, in flat colors).

I’ve got another month and a half to color the rest of the pages, which is already raising some interesting (and unexpected) challenges. More on that in a future post!